Best...

[Maximus]

Good choice for a first line of a book.  I remember Beatrix Potter quite fondly.

Try not to gag, but my favorite opening is this:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

A penny if you can fill in the rest.

[udo]

Best first line(s) of a song:

When think of all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder I can think at all

[Gee3666]

Best payback movie:

'The Sting'

[Gee3666]

Best live drummer performance:

"Seven Days" -from Sting's "Ten Summoner's Tales" video album.

[Firefly]

best line (i know it from a song, but i believe it may have been stolen from another source):

"a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

[Gee3666]

Best song titles:

"Living on the ceiling" -Blancemange
"Don't eat stuff off the sidewalk" -The Cramps
"Constipated duck" - Jeff Beck

[Gee3666]

Best Rap Lyrics EVER!:












Bum stiggedy bum stiggedy bum, hon, I got the old pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
But I can fe-fi-fo-fum, diddly-bum, here I come
So Peter Piper, I'm hyper than Pinochio's nose
I'm the supercalafragilistic tic-tac pro
I gave my oopsy, daisy, now you've got the crazy
Crazy with the books, Googley-goo where's the gravy
So one two, unbuckle my, um shoe
Yabba Doo, hippity-hoo, crack a brew
So trick or treat, smell my feet, yup I drippedy-dropped a hit
So books get on your mark and spark that old censorship


Drats and double drats, I smiggedy-smacked some whiz kids
The boogedy-woogedly Brooklyn boy's about to get his, dig
My waist bone's connected to my hip bone
My hip bone's connected to my thigh bone
My thigh bone's connected to my knee bone
My knee bone's connected to my hardy-har-har-har
The jibbedy-jabber jaw ja-jabbing at your funny bone, um
Skip the ovaltine, I'd rather have a honeycomb
Or preferably the sesame, Let's spiggedy-spark the blunts, um
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun
They want EFX, some live EFX
They want EFX, some live EFX
They want EFX, some live EFX
Snap a neck for some live EFX
Well I'll be darned, shiver me timbers, yo head for the hills
I picked a weeping willow, and a daffodil
So back up bucko or I'll pulverize McGruff
'Cause this little piggy gets busy and stuff
Arrivederci, heavens to mercy, honky tonk I get swift
I caught a snuffleufagus and smoked a boogaloo spliff
I got the nooks, the cranies, the nitty gritty fodey-doe
All aboard, cast away, hey where's my boogaloo?
Oh I'm steaming, agony
Why's everybody always picking on me
They call me Puddin' Tane, and rap's my game
You ask me again and I'll t-tell you the same
'Cause I'm the vulgar vegemintarian, so stick 'em up freeze
So no Park sausages, Mom, please
A-blitz shoots the breeze, twiddly-dee shoots his lip
Crazy dazy shot the Sheriff, yup and I shot the gift
And that's pretty sneaky, sis oh yep
I got my socks off, my rocks off, my Nestle's cup of cocoa
Holly hobby tried to slob me, tried to rob me silly stunt
Diggedy-dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun
They want EFX, some live EFX
They want EFX, some live EFX
They want EFX, some live EFX
Snap a neck for some live EFX
Yahoo, hidee-ho yup I'm coming around the stretch
So here Fido boy, fetch, boy, fetch
I got the rope-a-dope a slippery choker, look at me get raw
And I'm the hickory-dickory top of morning boogoloo big jaw
With the yippedy zippedy Winnie the Pooh bad boy blue,
Yo crazy got the gusto, what up, I swing that too
So nincompoop give a hoot and stomp a troop without a strain
Like Roscoe P. Coltrane
I spiggedy-spark a spiff and give a twist like Chubby Checker
I take my Froot Loops with two scoops, make it double decker
Oh Vince, the baby come to Papa Duke
A babaloo, ooh, a babaloo boogedy boo
I went from Gucci to Sushi, to fliggedy-flam a groupie
To Zsa Zsa, to yibbedy-yabba dabba hoochie koochie
Tally ho I-I'll take my Stove Top instead of potatoes, so
Maybe I'll shoot 'em now, nope maybe I'll shoot 'em later, yep
I used to have a dog and Bingo was his name oh, so uh
B - I - N - G - O-oh
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, hon, so uh
Dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun
They want EFX, some live EFX
They want EFX, some live EFX
They want EFX, some live EFX
Snap a neck for some live EFX

By Das Efx - "They Want Efx"

[DR]

I've always wanted to catch a snuffleufagus. 

My contribution for the day:

Best reason to live in an apartment:

No moving the lawn.

[udo]

I've never moved a lawn.   

[Maximus]

Lucky bastard.  I used a human-powered junker for years.

[Gee3666]

I've never moved a lawn.   

I have. It's called sod.

[udo]

Green side up.

[xbluehorusx]

haha that's so awesome

THE BEST BREAK-UP LETTER EVER!

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John"
Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,

I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please
return the picture of me that I sent to you.

Love,
Rene

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters,
ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of
Rene, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had
collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along
with this note:

Dear Rene,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the f--- you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.

Take Care,
Ricky

[Gee3666]

[Gee3666]

Love this Pic!