Tell Us About Yourself

[CaptLychee]

Picture this: it’s the King of Kings restaurant in Brisbane, and due to an ear infection brought on by swimming at the hotel pool, I’m not enjoying my Peking duck at all.  Every time I move my jaw to speak or chew or swallow it feels like someone’s dragging a fork through my brain.  Nonetheless I’m in the company of four lovely ladies and I’m lamenting the fact that, given a common enough nickname, I’m finding it difficult to join up various sites.  ‘Hippy’, you see, is already taken.  So we’re talking about that and about my love of lychees (Litchi chinensis) and Lucy, half asleep on the couch at the restaurant, says ‘Captain Lychee!’

I told you that story to tell you this one:

Back in 1981 self-proclaimed comedy legend Ben Elton co-wrote a series called ‘The Young Ones’ in which there was a character, Neil, who was a hippy.  He was peaceful and had long hair.  Back in 1988 I lived in a house with the undoubtedly world-famous (at least among paternity insurers) Rick the Butcher, who could never be mates with anyone until he’d sorted out whether he could beat them in a fight.  But he couldn’t get a rise out of me to have a fight, and as I had long hair then, he said ‘You’re like that hippy c—t on that show’ and thus the nickname Hippy stuck.  Indeed, there were several people who had no idea what my real (given) name was – which I suspect is most people reading this.  We’ll get to that.

Now, I didn’t tell you that story to tell you this one, but this is just interesting:

Back in 1978 for reasons best known to himself, Rodney Payne gave me the nickname Elvis, after a popular Mississippi truck driver.  I in no way resemble Mr Presley.  I can’t drive a truck, I can sing passably well if I’m mad with the demon drink (at least in my own humble and slurring opinion), I’m not blonde and I’ve never been to Germany.  For whatever reason, though, I’m still called Elvis by my schoolfriends.

Nearly there:

I’ve had nicknames all my life.  The thing about nicknames is that if they’re cruel they don’t stick – but they nearly always suit you.  When you’re named by your parents they have no more idea of what you’re going to be like than the obstetrician does, so they may name you so you develop in a certain way.  But nicknames are based on who you actually are, or at least as others see you.  But this is only part of the reason why my family calls me ‘Derwood’.

Okay, here we go:

The other part of the reason is that my real name is Darren.  I was named after the late Darren McGavin, of whom my parents were great fans.  Of course, he wasn’t ‘the late’ when I was named – then he was starring in a show called ‘Riverboat’.  But I’ve been a fan of his all my life, and wish there was more of his stuff available on DVD.  Ah, well, time will tell.

I was conceived on or about 29 July 1961 and subsequently born on 17 March 1962 (at latitude 37 degrees, 45 minutes South, longitude 144 degrees, 27 minutes East, at 10:32AM for the astrologically conscious).  This makes me a Pisces, born in the Year of the Tiger.  (I am led to believe that conception date is used in Chinese astrology, but I’m also told that is a matter of some debate.  And don’t let’s get into heliocentric horoscopes.)

I was introduced to this site by MissMurgatroyd.  I was introduced to her by the vagaries of enrolment at a Screenwriting course at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology in 1997, and her fondness for pubs and the pleasures of the grape.  She is spellbindingly pretty and gets more so with the addition of lager.

I have not had anywhere near as interesting or energetic a life as either of MissMurgatroyd or Vitis, and have no degrees to speak of.  I spent nearly twenty years in durance vile with the Australian Taxation Office, auditing people and tracking misappropriated funds.  The days were pretty much a grey, monotonous blur.

Pretty much everything is a blur, in fact.  Due to congenital rubella I have an eye defect called Peter’s Anomaly (or anterior chamber cleavage syndrome), the practical upshot of which is that what a normal person can see at 20 yards I can see at around 6½.  Until I was 21 and wanted a driver’s licence this didn’t affect my lifestyle in the slightest.  I’m one of the ten percent of the population (of Australia) that is descended from convicts transported here for (in the case of my ancestor) stealing a pocket handkerchief valued at 3 shillings.

I like to read, and am grateful as hell to the surgeons who have given me back that ability.  For the last three years or so the printed word has been beyond me but thanks to another cornea graft I can now read again.  Hurrah!  No thanks to the publishers out there, though, who put out so little worth reading…

I like trivia contests and I drink Becks.  A lot.  I grimace in despair at the fact that between the Niagara and the Rio Grande you cannot get a decent beer.  What the hell went wrong with your country?  Apart from all that nonsense in the 1770’s…

Except for writing I’m pretty much bone-idle.  I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to minimise effort, and I notice that I use the same phrases pretty much all the time, pretty much.  This is a habit I must break.  I find a lot of writing, even, to be a chore, but by God I’m liking the rhyming verse!  I haven’t written this fast in nearly twenty years.  So thanks to Trumalia for putting up a place to put the rhyming couplets in, and a reason to do them.

[Maximus]

What the hell went wrong with your country?  Apart from all that nonsense in the 1770’s

Hey!  You tryin' to bring down my country, partner?  We got all kinds of fine beers in these parts.  Like Michelob, the Champagne of Beers. 

I was always wondering how such an interesting mind was crafted.  And to think that you were an accountant!  It's madness.  I'm glad you finally broke free.  Screenwriting seems like a much better fit. 

I find that my day isn't complete without laughter.  I must say, your posts always have me laughing like crazy.  Perhaps a career in comedy is in order.

[CaptLychee]

If only I could get a career in comedy.  During the course, one of our lectureres described me as the only natural comic in the class.

I'm proud to have made you laugh.  That's the object of the exercise.

I must say I've never tried Michelob, but if it's anything like the other overly sweet syrupy potions canned in Wisconsin and similar parts, I shall politely decline.  Samuel Adams is good but only if it's very cold.

And it's not just me saying this.  Some time ago I was chatting on IRC to a girl from Binghampton, New York, who drove across the border to get bootloads (trunkloads) of Becks from Quebec just avoid drinking the local product.

And no offence to Josh, but the only edible thing to come out of Texas was Farrah Fawcett

[Josh]

Ha, no offense taken. I'm underage, remember? I don't drink beer...despite going to Texas A&M, probably one of the highest beer drinking campuses in the US. But I wouldn't be very knowledgeable on the subject of best tasting beer.

However on my visit to bella Italia a couple summers ago, I got to taste a variety of Tuscany wine. Good stuff.

[CaptLychee]

Ah, you're a man after Vitis' and MissMurgatroyd's heart.

Wha's the drinking age there?  21?  I had thought you were older than that.

[Josh]

Yep, drinking age is 21, but nope, I only turn 20 this December. The 3rd to be exact. Now if only the fates would be so kind as to somehow crack one of these remaining codes for me by then, it'd be a pretty nice birthday present. I'd settle on waiting till Christmas even. It's getting to that point...

[phoenix]

    Hi guys, just wanted to tell you how glad I am to be part of Trumalia.  I never thought dealing with brilliant people like you would be so much fun.  Yes I've spoken to different types of people, always with my intention of searching for a "good talk", and I oftentimes fail to find one.

     When I read the threads of conversations you have here in Trumalia, it made me say "No wonder why it's rare to find a witty conversationalist out there.... they're all here." 

      I have always been fascinated with deciphering riddles, puzzles, codes and the ilk, and I can tell, you all are gifted at it.  Proficient.  Trumalia is unique, and people like you makes it unparalleled, allow me to say.

      Here in Trumalia, I appreciate how people of different cultures overcome the difference that divided them through the quality of mind.  I am very pleased with your expediency and humility.  No trace of conceit.

      I always believe that the learning and knowledge I have is at most, very little compared with what I am ignorant of, and I think it would be fun to share and learn from you.

       Aw, I almost forgot, I'm supposed to introduce myself.  I'm Miles, from Philippines.  I finished my bachelor degree March of 2002.  I decided to pursue my masters degree and did try to keep the ball rolling.  Yet for some reasons, after a year of dealing with my ex-professors (who turned to be my classmates on my masters degree classes), i thought of backing off.  So I recoiled and plans grounded to a halt.  Guess I just proved we fail far more often by timidity rather than by over-daring. 

[udo]

   I am very pleased with your expediency and humility.  No trace of conceit.

It's my humility that makes me so great!

[DR]

Yes, Udo's humility is a wonder to behold! 

Phoenix, your message was very nice, and we welcome you to our odd little community.  We are indeed a varied bunch, from all over the globe, it seems.  And so far as I can tell, our active members span that ages of 20 to.....   I won't fill in the upper limit, for that wouldn't be proper, but the range is impressive.

[phoenix]

        Thanks for the welcome DR.  I am new to this site but i really find it impressive.  It's where people of varied profession and pursuits get to talk about everything in symmetry, as such, the age issue is considered just a magic of numbers. But indeed, the range is amazing..

[amymisha]

My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this site and I am intrigued. I love puzzles, though I am lousy at solving them. : ) I just do it for fun.
Hi...

[Firefly]

hi amy.  it's lovely to hear from a new member.  we are also all puzzle fiends, and some of us are poor poets as well.  i hope we see more of you on this forum!   

[MissMurgatroyd]

Yay! Nice to see a new user posting on the Forum (it's been a bit quiet, and we've become accustomed to seeing the same old faces day after day)

Welcome also to Rolling_Stone. Hmmm.... two new non-spam people in one day... is this a coincidence?

[udo]

Welcome to the forum, amy.

I see we've passed 700 members now.  I like that